the_mysterious_mr_enterfandomcom-20200214-history
Growing Around: Pilot 3.2
Another edit of the pilot's script by Mr. Enter, uploaded on DeviantART. Script Linda and Robert are walking home. A school bus full of adults is riding off behind them. Linda and Robert each have backpacks on Robert: How'd you do on the test today? Linda: Look for yourself. hands Robert the page Robert: Wow at it disbelief How do you not know how to make a water balloon? Linda: Seriously, when are we ever going to use this stuff? Let's just get home. I want to do some yoga and relax. pass by a little girl buying ice cream for her mother Robert: If you make mud like this it’ll be too loose and it’ll just fall apart. Linda: I figured, since it was marked wrong. cross a crossing walk with a kid who is having a lot of fun with his stop sign Robert: And if you build a slingshot like this, it’s just going to break. Linda: I’ve heard it all before. pass by two kids arguing in front of a car crash. One is sticking his tongue out at the other Robert: You need to start thinking about the consequences. These bad grades are really starting to pile up. reach the stairs Linda: Look, I've had a hard day. I just want a moment to rest. I'll deal with my grades later. open the door and enter the house. Sally is on the couch playing a video game. Linda runs upstairs to her room. Robert walks towards the kitchen Sally: Where are you going? Robert: To the kitchen to do my homework. I want to just get it out of the way. Sally: Oh no you don't mister! Robert: D-did I do something wrong? Sally: I'll bet you did. You forgot our little game last night. I've been practicing all day and I'm totally gonna whomp you today. Robert: Can I please just finish my homework? Sally: You can do your stupid homework after we have our game and I beat you. Robert: sigh Alright, fine. play video games for awhile Sally: UGH! Come on! Best 17 out of 33!? Robert: Sally, I've really got to— on the doorbell Sally: Oh come on! I'll go get it. trips over Linda's rollerskate and crashes on the ground. Robert: up Sally are you okay!? Sally: Yeah I think so a look at the skate Oh... LINDA! Linda: downstairs Yeah Sally? Something you want? Sally on the ground Sally, are you okay!? Sally: Did you leave your roller skate here? Linda: Uh… yeah… sorry about that Sally: I could have gotten hurt. You know what this means don't you? Linda: Um... No? Sally: You left your rollerskate lying around and that means you got to sniff it now. is holding the roller skate with a sinister grin Linda: What!? Why? Sally: Well that's what you get for leaving it out like the bajillionth time. This week. is holding the roller blade up to Linda while she's turning away in disgust. Another doorbell rings. Sally drops the rollerskate and heads towards the door Sally: Ugh, I'm coming! Don't think this gets you off the hook Linda. Put your rollerblade away. [Sally opens the door to see reveal a little girl standing there. This is Kathy. She's Robert and Linda's teacher. Sally: Hi, can I help you? Kathy: Hello, I'm Ms. Kathy. I'm Linda and Robert's teacher. I'd like to have a word with you. eyes widen. She drops the rollerskate in shock. She grabs Robert and pulls him into the next room Robert: What was that for!? Is anyone going to let me do my homework? Linda: Robbie, our teacher is here! peeks in to see Sally talking to Kathy Robert: So...? Linda: Sally was going to make me sniff that sweaty, dirty rollerskate! What do you think she's going to do after talking to our teacher? Robert: Do you even know why our teacher is here? And besides you were the one who left the skate out. Again. I'm surprised she didn't try to make you eat it— Sally: Robert, can you come here? Linda: Well, it looks like you're the one in trouble. walks to them nonchalantly Kathy: Hello Robert. Robert: Hey... uh, what's going on? Kathy: You probably noticed this lately, but Linda's grades have been slipping. It seems like she's focusing way more on friends than on schoolwork. Robert: Okay... why are you telling me? Sally: You know Linda. She didn't stop scheduling her week during dinner until I made her run up and down the street dressed in a monkey costume. Kathy: Giggle Oh my... Sally: I mean the only way she'd stop leaving her roller skates in the hall is if I made her eat them. Robert: So... what did you have in mind? Sally: We’re gonna let her pick her own punishment. We need you for this Robert. whispering in the kitchen, Sally is cooking something. Kathy and Robert are at the table. Linda enters the room Linda: What's for dinner? Sally: Chocolate chip cake, caramel-vanilla ice cream, and spaghetti Linda: Well, that last one sounds-- Sally: With a chocolate sauce. Linda: Can't we ever eat something... healthier? Sally: You're such a spoil sport. Come on, it tastes delicious! Kathy: So Robert, do you understand the consequences? Robert: Yeah—I get it. Linda: W-what's with him? What he'd do? Sally: Oh, his grades are just slipping. He's going to have to take some extra classes. Maybe even be held back a grade. Linda: Wow... I thought he was smarter than that. and Kathy glares at Linda Sally: Well, that's what happens when you let your grades slip. Linda: Ummm... so... good luck with that leaving the room Sally: Not so fast old lady, we need your help. Linda: But I was reading one of my favorite books--! Sally: Your icky romance book can wait. Your husband is a little more important right now. Linda: Well, what did you have in mind? Sally: Actually, the betterer question is "what do you have in mind?" I hear that your grades a pretty good. Linda: nervously um... yeah sees a test with a D- in her backpack that she left on the floor. Sally: So, what do you think that it would take for someone to get their grades up? Linda: I... can make him do anything? [she looks over to Robert Sally: Anything that you want. Linda: Well gets a sinister smile since I do have the best grades, maybe Robbie should do whatever I say. You know, until he gets his grades back up. Kathy: I'm glad you feel that way, cuz— crash in heard from the other room Timmy: Who left this rollerskate in the hallway? Sally: Uh-oh! Timmy's home from work. Linda: Sorry! I'm coming! Timmy: Linda, how many times are you going to leave this out here? Do you want to eat a mud pie for dinner? Linda: to pick up the roller skate half-gloating Well, at least it's better than what Robert did. His grades are so bad that he might be staying back. Timmy: Robert! Is this true? and Robert look at each other Sally: No & Robert: Yes and Robert stare at each other for a beat Sally: Yes & Robert: No enters the kitchen with Linda behind him Timmy: Well, which is it? Yes or no? at Kathy Kathy: Well... um... shows Sally nodding and Robert shaking his head Kathy: I gotta go... uh... cook my dog. beats awkward and blushes stares at her Kathy: Uh... cook him dinner... uh yeah. Bye. leaves the story Timmy: Come on guys! Tell me. Are Robert's grades bad right now? and Robert stare at each other Linda: Well that's what they told me. In fact, they said that Robert should do whatever I say, since I've got the better grades. Isn't that right, Sally? Sally: Well... yeah... but.... Timmy: Alright then. Robert has to do whatever Linda says until his grades get betterer. Robert: But wait!-- I didn't—! Timmy: Nuh-uh, you ain't getting out of this one! Linda: Come on Robbie, my room needs a bunch of cleaning Robert: But I— Timmy: Nya-na-nanana, now go on! and Linda go upstairs Sally: Um... Timmy, there's something that I've got to tell you. Linda’s… actually the one… who’s been getting the bad grades… pulls out a paper from Linda’s backpack Timmy: Well, why didn't you just say that! the paper from Sally I mean what is this? "Thunder is caused by vibre-ations?" It's so obviously angels going bowling. How could she not know that? Sally: Sheepishly I thought that if we could get her to pick her own punishment, it would help her get gooder grades. Timmy: Have you tried grounding her? Sally: How many times have we told Linda to put away her rollerskates? Look, it's still there, even after I tried to make her sniff it. Timmy: Wait, you did what? Sally: That's not the point. We could ground her and she'll be all mopey-dopey for awhile, and she'll still be getting bad grades. Timmy: That's not a reason not to try. Sally: Yes it is! Timmy: Not it's not! Sally: Yes it is! Timmy: One, two, three, four! I declare thumb war! That'll settle this. two start having a thumb war Sally: Oh, you are so immature. Timmy: I know you are, but what am I? upstairs. Linda's room is incredibly clean. Linda is on her bed. Linda: Well, what are you waiting for? I want this room looking like Timmy and Sally's. Robert: some books and jazz records on the floor You know Linda, your grades aren't the best in the world either. Linda: I'm sure I'm doing absolutely fine. is holding up a page with a D- on it Linda: Well, that was just an off day. is holding up a page with an F- on it Linda: I had too many other projects, sue me. is holding a page with a Z- on it Linda: Okay, so my grades are terrible too. At least they're better than yours. is holding a page with a Z- on it, written "Linda, you have the lowest grades in class. You'll be held back if this keeps up" Linda: Fine! I'm terrible at school and my teacher thinks that I'm stupid! You probably think I'm stupid too! Robert: Linda, you're not stupid. Linda: seems to be holding tears back Why are my grades so terrible!? Robert: You just have trouble keeping track of things is all. Linda: But... I don't want to be held back! I mean, what will Sally and Timmy think? looks into her eyes Robert: Don't worry, they'll still love you no matter what. Linda: What if I lose all of my friends? Robert: You won't Linda, you have me. hug down in the kitchen Timmy: Ha ha! I win! Sally: her tongue out at Timmy Timmy: You're just mad because you lost. Sally: folded Whatever. Timmy:Well, let's go up and talk to her before she makes Robert go outside in a ballerina outfit. go upstairs and crack open the door Robert: a textbook and every coconut on earth disappeared. And that's why kids are in charge of adults. Linda: Oh, that really makes a lot of sense. and Timmy look at each other awkwardly. cuts back to Linda and Robert Linda: So you really don't think that I'm stupid? Robert: How could I ever think something like that? I mean, you're short-sighted and kinda messy, but by no means are you stupid. Linda: Thanks. Smells like the cake is done. I wonder if dinner is ready. Robert: Well let's go check. and Sally look at each other with eyes wide, panic, and bump into each other. Then they fall over Robert: Timmy, Sally? What are you guys doing up here? Timmy: I-I think I landed on my cookies downstairs in kitchen with dinner finally being served Timmy: the cake down on the table Linda: Are you sure we can't eat something... a little healthier? Timmy: Oh come on guys, where's the adventure? Robbie, I'm taking Sally out to Lucky Cheeses. You help Linda study while we're gone. Robert: Yeah sure— Sally: do I look? enters the room wearing tons of jewelry and makeup that makes her almost look like a clown Linda: cringing You look great Sally. Timmy: Well, let's go. two of them leave the room and they both trip over the roller skate. Sally: at roller skatewith a slight growl Oh Linda, you wanted to eat something healthier? What Enter Said And third time's the charm. This time I feel like I've fixed every little problem with the pilot and I don't see how much improvement there could be. The kids act like kids. The adults like act adults, specifically Linda acts as much like an adult as I'm able to make her act like. I've extended some scenes here and there, moved things around to prevent mood whiplash, etc. And I think this means we are ready to move on to the next step: concept art, improving character design, and storyboarding. Or... do you think that it could be improved in any way whatsoever? Edit: Apparently there were some ways to improve it. Cleaning up some dialog, adding a few lines, but not much. So this isn't a new file.